> [[351-passive-purification|← 351. Passive Purification]] | [[-divine-intimacy-toc|TOC]] | [[353-desolation-and-darkness|353. Desolation and Darkness →]] --- # 352. Interior Trials PRESENCE OF GOD - O Lord, purify me as gold in the crucible; purify me and do not spare me, that I may attain to union with You. ## Meditation 1 F Our Lord finds you strong and faithful, humble and patient in accepting exterior trials, He will go on little by little to others that are more inward and spiritual “to purge and cleanse you more inwardly...to give you more interior blessings” ([[jc-living-flame|J.C. LF]], 2,28). The passive night of the spirit culminates precisely in these interior sufferings of the soul, by which God “destroys and consumes its spiritual substance and absorbs it in deep and profound darkness” ([[jc-dark-night-toc|J.C. DN]] JI, 6,1) in order that it may be completely reborn to divine Life. We are, in fact, so steeped in miseries and faults, which adhere so closely to our nature, that if God Himself did not take our purification in hand, renewing us from head to foot, we should never be delivered from them. Jesus, too, spoke of this total renovation, of this profound spiritual rebirth: “Unless a man be born again of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God” (Jn 3,5); the kingdom of God here below is the state of perfect union with Him, to which no one attains if he be not first totally purified. St. John of the Cross explains at length how this work of purification is accomplished by the Holy Spirit, who, invading the soul with the living flame of His Love, destroys and consumes all its imperfections. So long as this divine flame purifies and disposes the soul, says the Saint, it “is very oppressive...the flame is not bright to it, but dark, and if it gives any light at all, it is only that the soul may see and feel its own faults and miseries” ([[jc-living-flame|J.C. LF]], 1,19). Although the soul finds itself under the direct action of the Holy Spirit, this action is not agreeable but painful, because its first fruit is precisely to show it all its weaknesses and miseries that it may conceive a horror for them, detest them, humble itself for them and be sorry for them. The penetrating light of the “living flame of Love” lifts the thick veil which hides from the soul the roots of its evil habits. The soul suffers at such a sight, not only because it feels humbled, but also because it fears being rejected by God; indeed, seeing itself so miserable, it feels itself dreadfully unworthy of divine love, and, at certain times, it even seems as if God in anger had cast it off from Himself. This is the greatest torment the soul can suffer, but a precious one, because it purifies the soul of all residue of self-love and pride, and deepens within it the profound abyss of humility which calls to and draws down the abyss of divine mercy. ## Meditation 2 If the Holy Spirit did not make you understand and experience your wretchedness, you could not be delivered from it, for in your ignorance you could not further the work of purification which He wills to accomplish in you. Therefore, when the divine light shows you the depths of your depravity through the failures of your spiritual life, the powerlessness of your spirit, or the struggles and rebellions of nature, you must support the sight humbly, recognizing and confessing your weaknesses without excusing them, without blaming adverse circumstances, without turning your gaze elsewhere. ‘These are the moments in which, more than ever, you must humble yourself “under the mighty hand of God” (1 Pt 5,6), who shows you what you really are in His sight. But, on the other hand, the sight of your miseries, however ugly and detestable they may be, should not plunge you into discouragement, for this is not the end for which the Holy Spirit reveals them to you; rather, it is to divest you of every trace of secret self-esteem and to extinguish in your heart—in case it were there—any claim to meriting divine gifts and favors. Neither should you believe that you have become worse than formerly. You have always borne these miseries within you! Hitherto you were ignorant of them, whereas now the divine light shows them to you clearly, not that they may overwhelm you but that you may be delivered from them. Therefore, despite all the suffering that you may experience at the ight of your misery, you must remain confident and certain that God will never abandon you. You have been unfaithful to Him, it is true; you have not corresponded to His love as you should have done, and the services which you have rendered Him are very little in comparison with what God deserves; nevertheless He who is infinitely good does not despise your contrite and humble heart. God loves you and, far from rejecting you, He desires to unite Himself to you; but first He wants to make you perfectly aware that you are wholly undeserving of this great grace. God communicates Himself only to humble souls, and only the humble are filled with His gifts; that is the reason for the purifying sufferings of the night of the spirit: it is impossible to be entirely humble without passing through the bitter anguish of this night in which God Himself undertakes to humble the soul. But when finally He will have reduced it to the center of its nothingness, then He will exalt it, drawing it to Himself in the perfect union of love. ## Colloquy “O my soul, if you are wounded by sin, behold your physician, ready to cure you. His mercy is infinitely greater than all your iniquities. This I say, not that you may remain in your misery, but that by doing your utmost to overcome it, you may not despair of His clemency and pardon. “Your God is sweetness itself, mildness itself; whom will you love, whom will you desire except Him? “Let not your imperfections discourage you; your God does not despise you because you are imperfect and infirm; on the contrary, He loves you because you desire to cure your ills. He will come to your assistance and make you more perfect than you would have dared to hope, and adorned by His own hand, your beauty will be unequalled, like His own goodness. “O my Jesus, tender Shepherd, gentle Master, help me, lift up Your dejected sheep, extend Your hand to sustain me, heal my wounds, strengthen my weakness, save me; otherwise I shall perish. I am unworthy of life, I confess, unworthy of Your light and help; for my ingratitude has been so great; Your mercy, however, is greater still. Have pity upon me, then, O God, You who love men so much! Oh, my only hope! Have pity upon me according to the greatness of your mercy” ([[louis-de-blois-blessed|Bl. Louis de Blois]]). “One abyss calleth upon another. It is there, my God, at the bottom that I shall meet You: the abyss of my poverty, of my nothingness, will be confronted with the abyss of Your mercy, the immensity of Your All. There I shall find strength to die to myself and, losing every trace of self, I shall be changed into love” (E.T. J, 1). # References J.C. - [[john-of-the-cross-saint|Saint John of the Cross]] DN - [[jc-dark-night-toc|Dark Night of the Soul by Saint John of the Cross]] LF - [[jc-living-flame|Living Flame of Love by Saint John of the Cross]] --- ![[bibliography#^biblio-di]] > [[351-passive-purification|← 351. Passive Purification]] | [[-divine-intimacy-toc|TOC]] | [[353-desolation-and-darkness|353. Desolation and Darkness →]]