← [[session-12-f1b|Session 12: Rites of Admission and Ritual]] | [[formation-I-b-handbook|Table of Contents]] | [[appendix-b-f1b|Letter 2 — St. Teresa of Ávila]] → # Excerpt from The Hidden Life — Edith Stein Used with permission. Letter 2. To Don Lorenzo de Cepeda, Quito (Ecuador) Avila, 23 December, 1561 Teresa is living outside her monastery in the home of Doña Guiomar de Ulloa in Avila. From there she is supervising the renovation of the house bought for her first foundation. She is in dire financial need. Unexpectedly, several Indians who were Lorenzo’s friends brought letters and money. A mysterious promise made by St. Joseph is fulfilled. Deeply moved, Teresa writes in haste before Lorenzo’s messenger leaves. ***** 1\. Jesus. Señor. May the Holy Spirit be always with your honor, amen, and repay you for the care with which you have so diligently come to the help of all. I hope in the majesty of God that you will gain much in his eyes. Certainly all those to whom you sent the money received it at such an opportune moment that I was greatly consoled. I believe it was God who stirred you to send me so much. The amount of money brought by Juan Pedro de Espinosa and Varrona (which I think was the name of the other merchant)—would have been enough to keep a poor worthless nun like myself who goes about in patches—which I now consider an honor, glory to God—out of need for some years. 2\. I have already written you a long letter about a matter that for many reasons I could not escape doing, since God’s inspirations are the source. Because these things are hard to speak of in a letter, I mention only the fact that saintly and learned persons think I am obliged not to be cowardly but do all I can for this project—a monastery of nuns. There will be no more than fifteen nuns in it, who will practice very strict enclosure, never going out or allowing themselves to be seen without veils covering their faces. Their life will be one of prayer and mortification as I have written more at length in a letter to you. I will write another for Antonio Morán when he leaves. 3\. That lady, Doña Guiomar, who is also writing to you, is a help to me. She is the wife of Francisco Dávila, of Salobralejo, if you recall. Her husband died nine years ago. He had an annual income of 1,000,000 maravedis. She, for her part, has an entailed estate in addition to what she has from her husband. Although she was left a widow at the age of twenty-five, she has not married again but has devoted herself very much to the Lord. She is deeply spiritual. For more than four years we have been devoted friends, closer than if we were sisters. She still helps me very much, for she contributes a good portion of her income. At present she is without funds, so it is up to me to buy and prepare the house. With God’s favor, I have received two dowries beforehand and have bought the house, although secretly. But I did not have the means to pay for the work still needed to be done. So trusting in God alone (for God wants it to be done and will provide), I entered into an agreement with the workers. It seemed a foolish thing to do. But then His Majesty comes along and moves you to provide for it. And what amazes me is that the forty pesos you added was just what I needed. I believe that St. Joseph—after whom the house will be named—wanted us to have the money, and I know that he will repay you. In sum, although 35 the house is small and poor, the property has a field and some beautiful views. And that’s sufficient. 4\. They have gone to Rome for the papal bulls, for although the house belongs to my own religious order, we are rendering our obedience to the bishop. I hope the foundation will give the Lord much glory, if he allows it to come about. I believe without a doubt that it will, for the souls who are planning to enter will give an excellent example of humility, as well as penance and prayer. They are choice souls. Will you all pray to God for this project, for by the time Antonio Morán departs, everything will be completed with God’s favor. 5\. Antonio Morán came here and was a great consolation to me. He seemed to be a loyal and highly gifted man. I was especially consoled to learn about all of you, for one of the great favors the Lord has granted me is that he has given you understanding of what the world is, and so you have chosen to live quiet lives. Now I know, too, that you have taken the path of heaven. This is what I wanted most to know, for up until now I was always in dread. Glory to the One who does all. May it please him that you always advance in His service. Since there is no measure to his remunerations, we should never stop trying to serve the Lord. Each day we will advance at least a little further, and with fervor. It seems, and so it is, that we are always at war, and until we are victorious, we must not grow careless. 6\. All those with whom you have sent money have been reliable men, but Antonio Morán has surpassed them all. He has sold the gold at the highest price without charge, as you will see, and has brought the money here from Madrid despite his health poor health—although today he is better, for it was caused by an accident. I notice that he thinks highly of you. He also brought the money from Varrona and did so with great care. Rodriguez came here too, and has done everything well. I will write to you through him, for perhaps he will be the first to leave. Antonio Morán showed me the letter you had written him. Believe me, I think that all this care is not only the fruit of his virtue, but also the result of God’s inspiration. 7\. Yesterday my sister Maria sent me the enclosed letter. When they bring her the other money she will write again. The help came just in time for her. She is a very good Christian and undergoes many trials. If Juan de Ovalle initiates a lawsuit, it would destroy her children. Certainly he doesn’t have as much a claim as he thinks he does, even though the sale of everything went badly and proved a disaster. But Martin de Guzmán also had good intentions—God rest his soul— and the judge ruled in his favor, even though not well enough. I cannot bear that anyone should now claim what my father—may he enjoy eternal glory—sold. And the rest, as I say, would only kill Maria, my sister. God deliver me from the self-interest that brings so much harm to one’s relatives. It has reached the point here that it’s a wonder if there’s a father who cares about his son or a brother who cares about his brother. Thus I’m not surprised by Juan de Ovalle; rather, he has done well by setting this litigation aside for now out of love for me. He is by nature good, but in this case it would be unwise to trust in that. When you send him the 1,000 pesos, you should ask him for a written promise to be given to me; and the day that he reintroduces the lawsuit, 500 ducats will go to Doña María. 8\. The houses at Gotarrendura are still not sold, but Martín de Guzmán received 300,000 maravedis from them, and it was only right that this amount went to Juan de Ovalle. Along with the 1,000 pesos you sent, he is taken care of and will be able to live here. For this is what he has 36 01.24 1-24-2024Appendix B done, he has come here and now needs to remain. He would be unable to live here other than badly and for only short periods of time without help from over there. 9\. His marriage is a good one. But I must tell you that Doña Juana is so honorable and trustworthy that she makes you want to praise God, and she has the soul of an angel. I’ve turned out to be the worst sister; the way I am, you ought not even acknowledge me as your sister. I don’t know why you’re all so fond of me. I say this in all truthfulness. Juana has undergone many trials and born them well. If you can send the money without placing yourself in need, do so quickly, even if little by little. 10\. The money you sent was allocated as you will see from the letters. Toribia is dead as is also her husband. It was a great help for her children, who are poor. The Masses have been said according to your intentions—some of them before the money arrived—and by the best persons I could find, all of them excellent. I was edified by the intentions for which you had them said. 11\. I am staying in the house of Señora Doña Guiomar during these business affairs. It makes me happy to be with persons who speak to me about you; indeed, it is my pleasure. One of this lady’s daughters, who is a nun in our monastery, had to come out and stay with her mother, and our provincial ordered me to be her companion. Here, more than at my sister’s house, I am at liberty to do the many things I need to do. All the conversation here is about God, and we live in great recollection. I will remain here until given other orders, even though it would be better for me to stay here so as to handle the above business matters. 12\. Now to speak of my dear sister, Señora Doña Juana, for although I mention her last, she is not so in my heart. That is certain, for I pray to God for her as intensely as I do for you. I kiss both your hands a thousand times for all the kindnesses you have shown me. I don’t know how to repay you other than by praying fervently for our little boy. And this is being done, for the saintly friar Peter of Alcántara has promised to do so (he is the discalced friar about whom I wrote you), and the Theatines and other persons whom God will hear are doing so. May it please His Majesty to make the child better than his parents, for good as you are, I want more for God. Continue writing to me about your joy and resignation to God’s will, for that makes me very happy. 13\. I mentioned that when Antonio Morán leaves I will send along for you a copy of the patent letters of nobility, which they say couldn’t be better. I’ll take great care in doing this. And if this time it gets lost on the way, I’ll keep sending others until one arrives. For some foolish reasons it was not sent (it was the responsibility of a third party who did not want to—I’ll say no more). I’ll also send you some relics, for the reliquary isn’t worth much. I kiss my brother’s hands a thousand times for what he has sent me. If it had come at a time when I wore gold jewelry, I would have been very envious of the medal, for it is extremely beautiful. May God keep you and your wife for many years. And may he give you a happy new year, for tomorrow is New Year’s Eve for 1562. 14\. Since I spent a long time with Antonio Morán, I began this letter late; otherwise I would say more, but he wants to leave tomorrow. I will write again through Jerónimo de Cepeda, and since I’ll be doing so soon, it doesn’t matter that I don’t say more here. Always read my letters yourself. I went to great lengths to use good ink. This letter was written so quickly; and, as I say, 37 it is so late that I cannot take time to read it over. My health is better than usual. May God give you health in body and soul, as I desire, amen. 15\. I’m not writing to Hernando de Ahumada or Pedro de Ahumada for lack of time; I will do so soon. Your honor should know that some very good persons who are aware of our secret— our new undertaking—have considered it a miracle that you sent so much money at such a time. I hope that when there is need for more, God will put it into your heart to help me, even though you may not want to. Your devoted servant, Doña Teresa de Ahumada --- **Source:** Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites, *Formation I Year B: I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life* (US National Formation Program, 2024).