← [[f2-c-01|The Mercies of the Lord]] | [[formation-II-c-handbook-toc|Table of Contents]] | [[f2-c-03|The Grace of Christmas and a Vocation to Carmel]] → # Separation and Transition **Required Reading**: Story of A Soul, Chapters III and IV, including the explanations on pp. 99-111 and 140-148. # Explanatory Note Chapters III and IV of the Story of a Soul cover Thérèse’s school years; the entrance of Pauline (whom Thérèse considered a second mother) into the monastery of Lisieux; Thérèse’s First Communion, Confirmation; and finally, another separation — Marie’s decision to enter Carmel. Pauline’s departure was a traumatic experience for Thérèse. “It was as if a sword were buried in my heart” (pg. 87). She fell sick and was bedridden with nervous tremblings, followed by seizures of fright and hallucinations. On Pentecost Sunday, while she was gazing at a statue of Our Lady, she was miraculously cured by the Blessed Virgin but remained fragile. Adding to her misery was the nuns’ misinterpretation of the Virgin’s “smile. ” “It was her countenance alone that had struck me, and seeing that the Carmelites had imagined something else entirely (my spiritual trials beginning already with regard to my sickness), I thought I had lied…I was unable to look upon myself without a feeling of profound horror. Ah, what I suffered I shall not be able to say except in heaven” (pg. 98). Thérèse could observe later in her life that through these painful daily encounters, her soul matured “like a flower strengthened by the storm… I find myself at a period in my life when I can cast a glance on the past; my soul has matured in the crucible of exterior and interior trial” (pg. 15). “… my soul was FAR from being mature, and I was to pass through many crucibles of suffering before attaining the end I so much desired” (pg. 89). # Essential Points to Discuss • When Thérèse was eight years old, she began attending the Benedictine boarding school for girls in Lisieux. School was a painful experience for Thérèse because she had to leave the familiar surroundings of her home and face the real world of children. She was not too happy dancing quadrilles with children. Instead, she was happy playing “hermits” with her cousin, Marie Guerin. • When Thérèse overheard the news that Pauline was about to leave her home, she was overwhelmed by the sadness of the human condition. It was a devastating blow to Thérèse. “Pauline was going to leave me… I was about to lose my second Mother! Ah! How can I express the anguish of my heart! In one instant, I understood what life was; until then, I had never seen it so sad; but it appeared to me in all its reality, and I saw it was nothing but a continual suffering and separation” (pg. 88). Pauline’s departure is a real “Dark Night” experience for Thérèse. 14 • “… there are flaws in every human connection; that our status on this planet is implacably impermanent; and that we are utterly powerless to offer ourselves, or those we love protection — protection from danger and pain, from the inroads of time, from the coming of age, from the coming of death; protection from our necessary losses. These losses are a part of life — universal, unavoidable, inexorable. And these losses are necessary because we grow by losing and leaving and letting go” (pg. 103). (emphasis added) • A year after her cure, when Thérèse was preparing to make her First Holy Communion, her sister Marie “explained the way of becoming holy through fidelity in little things” (see pg. 117) which became an important element of Thérèse’s “little way.” • “Fidelity in little things is attending to the life as we find it and loving the people that God has placed upon our path. … Thérèse was aware of the temptation to flee from the hard work that love demands by escaping into dreams of glory, of which St. Teresa of Avila writes: ‘The devil gives us great desires so that we will avoid setting ourselves to the task at hand, serving our Lord in possible things, and instead be content with having desired the impossible’” (IC. VII. 4:14; pg. 146). • Thérèse had great desire to serve God by means of heroic deeds like Joan of Arc; but she came to understand that her “own glory would not be evident to the eyes of mortals, that it would consist in becoming a great saint” (pg. 115) through a life of love lived out in the shadows — practicing the ordinary virtues. Such is the call of every Christian. • Thérèse’s reception of First Communion was an experience of profound union with God. “I felt that I was loved…for a long time now Jesus and poor little Thérèse looked at and understood each other. That day, it was no longer simply a look, it was a fusion; they were no longer two, Thérèse had vanished as a drop of water is lost in the immensity of the ocean” (pg. 121). • One expression of God’s mercy that Thérèse became conscious of (after her First Communion) was the realization of God’s protective love in her life (see pg. 140). “I know that without Him, I could have fallen as low as St. Mary Magdalene… but I also know that Jesus has forgiven me more than St. Magdalene since He forgave me in advance by preventing me from falling” (pg. 128). • Because of some sermons she had heard describing how easy it is to offend God and to stain one’s purity of conscience, Thérèse developed a terrible case of scruples, from which she suffered deeply for almost 18 months. The stern image of God painted by Jansenism was in stark contrast to the “God of merciful love” that Thérèse had experienced at her First Communion. But nevertheless, the fear of accidentally offending God lurked in the shadows of her mind. She says: “All of my most simple thoughts and actions became the cause of trouble for me, and I had relief only when I told them to Marie” (pg. 129). 15 **Explanatory note:** “Jansenism was a heresy that emphasized the depravity of human nature and its inclination toward sin. It preached a divine justice that was so stern and exacting that only a few people were saved. It taught that sacramental absolution did not forgive sins but only declared them forgiven to the person who already possessed the perfect love of God. … Jansenism held that the possibility of committing a mortal sin was an ever-present and constant danger” The Context of Holiness (p 102-103). • It was during this time (October 1886) that Marie entered Carmel. Marie’s departure was not as traumatic for Thérèse as Pauline’s departure had been. Nevertheless, it was still heart-wrenching: “Marie was the only support of my soul. It was Marie who guided, consoled, and aided me in the practice of virtue; she was my sole oracle. Pauline, no doubt, had remained well ahead in my heart, but Pauline was far, very far from me!... And so in reality, I had only Marie, and she was indispensable to me, so to speak… It was from a child such as this that God was taking away the only support which attached me to life!” (pg. 133-136). • By the grace of God, Thérèse was able to turn unexpected events into serious meditations: “When I was sad and sick, I repeated these words that always gave rise to a new peace and strength in my heart: ‘Life is your barque not your home!’ Doesn’t Wisdom say, ‘life is like a ship that plows the restless waves and leaves after it no trace of its rapid passage’? When I think of these things, my soul is plunged into infinity, and it seems to me it already touches the eternal shore” (pg. 133). “I really made a big fuss over everything! I was just the opposite of what I am now, for God has given me the grace not to be downcast at any passing thing. When I think of the past, my soul overflows with gratitude… They have made such a change in me that I don’t recognize myself” (pg. 137). • Thérèse was graced with the experiential knowledge of God’s presence in the world: She was given to understand the transitory nature of earthly realities. O Lord, in Your house I am a passing guest, a pilgrim... Ps. 39:12 # Points for Personal Meditation and ** Private Reflection ** Reflection: Like Thérèse, have you ever felt that life is nothing but a continual suffering and separation? What gave you the strength to bear the sadness of loss at these times? (pg. 104) **Reflection:** Picture yourself in your daily life. Do you see your duties simply as tasks to be checked off a list, or do they express the holiness of God’s divine love? (For further understanding of this question, see pg. 147). **Reflection:** Reflect upon the crossroads of your life. Think of how different your life would be if God had not prevented you from making a disastrous choice (pg. 148). 16 --- **Source:** Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites, *Formation II Year C: Story of a Soul (The Autobiography of St. Thérèse of Lisieux)* (US National Formation Program, 2024).