← [[f2-c-06|My Vocation Is Love]] | [[formation-II-c-handbook-toc|Table of Contents]] | [[f2-c-08|Charity — Manuscript C, Chapter X]] → # The Trial of Faith — Her Dark Night of the Soul (continued in Session Eight) **Required Reading: **Story of a Soul, chapter X, pg. 325-342 Additional Reading: Story of a Soul, pages 355-371 Explanatory note: The first eight chapters of the Story of a Soul (Manuscript A) were written when Thérèse was only twenty-two years old, from January 1895 until January 20, 1896. As previously noted, it was dedicated to her sister Pauline (Mother Agnes of Jesus) while she was a prioress at Lisieux Carmel. Upon reading the manuscript, Sister Agnes realized that Thérèse’s life as a nun was not included in her story. Since Sister Agnes was no longer prioress, she approached Mother de Gonzague (who was the elected prioress at the time) and asked her to order Thérèse to continue her writings, this time focusing on her life as a religious sister. The very next day, Mother de Gonzague commanded Thérèse to write about her experience in Carmel and the result was Manuscript C of the Story of a Soul. Given her failing health, this was a difficult task. In June 1897, prior to Thérèse’s death at the age of twenty-four, she took up the pen again and continued with her writings. She stopped writing at the beginning of July. She was so weak that she had to use a pencil for the last pages. Manuscript C deals with several aspects of Thérèse’s spiritual life but emphasizes her trial of faith, charity and most importantly, her understanding of “the Little Way.” # Essential Points to Discuss the Little Way • Thérèse began to observe the progression of prayer in a totally different manner. She wrote: “He [Jesus] has no doubt found her sufficiently watered, for now it is the sun that aids her growth” (pg. 327). She spent the last two years of her life discovering and sharing the deepest wisdom of God. One of the gifts that she discovered was her desire to become a saint. She was not discouraged by the difference between her and the saints (an obscure grain of sand compared to a mountain whose summit is lost in the clouds). In her mind, Thérèse was convinced that: “God cannot inspire unrealizable desires. I can, then, in spite of my littleness, aspire to holiness” (pg. 328). Thérèse realized that she was too small to climb the rough stairs to perfection. While meditating on the Scriptures, she made a profound discovery of her “little way”: “... I want to seek out a means of going to heaven by a little way, a way that is very straight, very short, and totally new” (pg. 328). • In the process of finding a definite path (the little way) for herself, Thérèse discovered an elevator: “The elevator which must raise me to heaven is Your arms, O Jesus! And for this I had no need to grow up, but rather I had to remain little and become this more and more” (pg. 329). Thérèse’s new way is to embrace her God-given identity with all its weakness, littleness and nothingness. Like a child trusting in its mother’s arms, Thérèse had decided to grow in 32 complete trust and confidence in the “arms of Jesus.” She reaffirms this is the simplest and surest way for her to grow in holiness. • “I discovered: ‘As one whom a mother caresses, so will I comfort you; you shall be carried at the breasts, and upon the knees they shall caress you’” (Is. 66:12,13; pg. 329). • Thérèse observed that God had blessed her with wisdom beyond her years. “... for having hidden His secrets from the wise and prudent and for revealing them to the little ones” (Mt.11:25. pg. 230). “I have had understanding above old men, because I have sought your will” (Ps.118:100. pg. 331). **Trial of Faith:** • Having gained the Wisdom of God, Thérèse now could speak about her “trial of faith” in vivid detail. On the eve of Good Friday, Thérèse threw up blood for the first time. The second attack on the following night convinced her of impending death. Most people would have reacted differently — denial, fear, anxiety. But Thérèse was consumed by the love of God: “It was like a sweet and distant murmur that announced the Bridegroom’s arrival” (pg. 332). Thérèse, however, went on to struggle with her “living faith.” a. “At this time I was enjoying such a living faith, such a clear faith, that the thought of heaven made up all my happiness... ” (pg. 333). b. “He permitted my soul to be invaded by the thickest darkness, and the thought of heaven, up until then so sweet to me, be no longer anything but the cause of struggle and torment” (pg. 333). c. “…it seems to me that darkness, borrowing the voice of sinners, says mockingly to me: ‘you are dreaming about the light, about a fatherland...; you are dreaming about the eternal possession of the Creator… Advance, advance; rejoice in death which will give you not what you hope for but a night still more profound, the night of nothingness’” (pg. 335). d. Thérèse was travelling through a “dark tunnel” … “a country that is covered with thick fog” (p.333); “…a wall which reaches right up to the heavens and covers the starry firmament” (pg. 336). • How did Thérèse conduct herself during her trial of faith? She didn’t have the joy of faith. Nevertheless, she carried on with her daily life, doing more acts of faith. “At each new occasion of combat, when my enemies provoke me, I conduct myself bravely…I turn my back on my adversaries without deigning to look them in the face; but I run toward my Jesus” (pg. 335). • As she was going through the interior darkness, Thérèse made an important observation of herself: “... He [God] did not send me this trial until the moment I was capable of bearing it. A little earlier I believe it would have plunged me into a state of discouragement. Now it is taking away everything that could be a natural satisfaction in my desire for heaven” (pg. 336). Thérèse discovered that 33 the “dark night” of deep interior suffering was the greatest gift from God because it was through suffering that her soul was purified. (emphasis added) This act of faith was a true martyrdom of spirit. Thérèse did not turn away from God as a result of this interior suffering. Instead, she opened herself and willingly shared the pain of all unbelievers and sinners. She describes it in these words, “She is resigned to eat the bread of sorrow as long as You desire it; she does not wish to rise up from this table filled with bitterness at which poor sinners are eating until the day set by You” (pg. 334). • Thus, Thérèse accepted her darkness for the sake of others: “May all those who were not enlightened by the bright flame of faith one day see it shine. O Jesus! If it is needful that the table soiled by them be purified by a soul who loves You, then I desire to eat this bread of trial at this table until it pleases you to bring me into Your bright Kingdom. The only grace I ask of You is that I never offend You!” (pg. 334). “...when someone desires to suffer, it is not merely a pious reminder of the suffering of the Lord. Voluntary expiatory suffering is what truly and really unites one to the Lord intimately. When it arises, it comes from an already existing relationship with Christ. For, by nature, a person flees from suffering. And the mania for suffering caused by a perverse lust for pain differs completely from the desire to suffer in expiation. Such lust is not a spiritual striving, but a sensory longing no better than other sensory desires, in fact worse, because it is contrary to nature. Only someone whose spiritual eyes have been opened to the supernatural correlations of worldly events can desire suffering in expiation, and this is only possible for people in whom the spirit of Christ dwells...” (The Collected Works of Edith Stein: The Hidden Life, pg.92). • “Here we are confronted with the mystery of our participation in the work for redemption. How uniting ourselves to Jesus on the Cross makes our suffering redemptive for others it indeed is a mystery of our faith, but the fact that it does is one of the great consolations of our faith, for what makes suffering unbearable is the belief that it has no purpose” (pg. 364). Hence, Thérèse became a true believer. She used her trial of faith as an opportunity to participate in the work of salvation and continued her journey in trust and confidence. • “…I no longer have any great desires except that of loving to the point of dying of love... ” (pg. 337). “... I do not have any fears of a long life and I do not refuse the fight, for the Lord is the Rock to which I am raised. ‘He teaches my hand to fight, and my finger to make war. He is my protector, and I have hoped in him!” (pg. 337-338). Thus, in the midst of her interior darkness, Thérèse was illumined by the grace of abandoning herself to Divine Providence. Consequently, she gained freedom of spirit. “Thérèse’s doubts of faith were not antithetical [contrary] to faith but the context in which her faith matured” (pg. 137, The Context of Holiness). 34 “It remains to be said, then, that even though this happy night darkens the spirit, it does so only to impart light concerning all things; and even though it humbles individuals and reveals their miseries, it does so only to exalt them; and even though it impoverishes and empties them of all possessions and natural affection, it does so only that they may reach out divinely to the enjoyment of all earthly and heavenly things, with a general freedom of spirit in them all” (The Dark Night, Book two, ch. 9:1). **Note:** “What we see in chapter ten [X] of Story of a Soul is one of the main reasons why Thérèse became a saint; she continued in her struggle to do God’s will in the midst of emotional desolation” (pg. 362). ** private reflection **: When in your life have you felt devoid of the joy of faith yet experienced God’s strength that enabled you to do His will? (pg. 363). 35 --- **Source:** Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites, *Formation II Year C: Story of a Soul (The Autobiography of St. Thérèse of Lisieux)* (US National Formation Program, 2024).